Thursday, February 18, 2016

No, My Body Odor Didn't Disqualify Me

Every time I am about to give up on this blog, I just can't quite let it go.  Even though I'm not exactly where I'd like to be, fitness and healthy eating are a passion for me.  I believe in it, and I want to live it and encourage others too.  That said, here's my latest crazy escapade in the world of fitness ;-)

    I rolled out of bed VERY LATE that morning.  So late, in fact, that my kids were already awake and lurking about.  My husband was hungry and wondering where his breakfast was going to come from.  Dishes were piled high and obstacles blocked my path.  I'd decided I needed a "lazy day" yesterday which included the following :
-Not brushing my teeth
-Not brushing my hair (by now matted snarls graced the back of my head)
- Staying in stretchy comfy carpi's all day
- Not shaving my legs (or showering for that matter),  thick black hair poked out from the bottom of my camo carpi's
   Over all, my great accomplishment that day was finishing a Janet Evanovich book and making my way out of the hot tub when it was time for bed. 
   Normally, I don't let myself have those kind of days, but I was REALLY worn out from days of running and I just needed it.  Getting out of bed the next morning, I was definitely behind the 8 ball.  Everything seemed hard and I will go as far as to admit that I didn't want to try and find a pair of underpants and so I grabbed the pair that was laying on the floor by the side of my bed, discarded from yesterday.   I was  really grundging it up that morning with no exaggerations.
   I stumbled my way into a cup of coffee and before long I was back in my bedroom doing my daily devotions.  Then that still small voice that I try to listen to (especially when I am doing my devotions) reminded me that there was a cross country ski race going on that day.  I just couldn't keep sitting there and an edgy feeling came over me.  I knew I was supposed to go.  I argued with myself, reminding myself of how unkempt I was and how I would need ALOT of time to resolve that issue.
   I'd been waiting for my kids to get off the telephone and I dialed the mercantile.  "Honey that race deadline is RIGHT NOW" the woman said.  "You had till 10:30 to sign up and it is now 10:30.  They are all over there at the club right now."  Time stopped and I argued back to myself that I was sporting a lot of matted snarls and wearing capris.  The conviction didn't go away and I knew that when it came to conviction I wasn't going to win.  I began rushing around the house like a hobo on fire.  My husband rolled his eyes and hauled my skis out to the car for me while I located some socks that REALLY CLASHED.  I groaned, looking down at the teal socks, cammo and stubbly black leg hair combination.  This was really bad. 
   Next I rushed into the bedroom and threw on the first bra I saw.  Unfortunately, it wasn't accommodating for the extra 20 lbs I find myself sporting, and the results created strange overfill lines through my billowy black shirt.  Without another thought, I was running through the door wearing ski boots with the laces untied and yelling out a distracted goodbye to anyone who might be listening.
   As I drove to the Rod and Gun club, I questioned my sanity more than once.  I reasoned that they probably wouldn't let me sign up because I was late.  That was okay with me.  I mainly wanted to support the event.  I loved that they had brought an athletic event to the Yaak for the first time.  I figured I could cheer if nothing else.  I ran my fingers through my hair as I drove and a sinking feeling hit me.  "What person in their right mind would dress like this for a winter athletic event?!?"
   I pulled in and ran, ski boots still untied to the building and to the sign up crew.  They were all really really happy to see me and insisted I sign right up.  I looked around and realized that nobody cared about my personal hygiene except for me.  These people had worked VERY HARD setting this up and there were only a handful of people here.  My being there made a difference for them.  I felt humbled and was glad again, that I wasn't so full of myself that I couldn't listen.
   We made our way up to the starting line.  I figured it was going to be pretty easy.  I'd been told that it was only a mile long from start to finish.  That was when it was announced that it was going to be 5 miles, 12 times around the track.  Time stopped.  I wondered if I had it in me to do that.  I shrugged it off and prepared for the jockeying at the start.  "On your mark!  Get Set!  Go!!"  I took off as quick as I could and pushed hard to get out ahead.  I could hardly stand the excitement, and I was glad, grungy and all, that I was there in that moment of time. 
   Around and around the track I went.  Each time pushing myself a little harder, a little faster and a little freer.  My joints started to wake up and I was shocked to find that I was actually ahead of everybody.  I figured that was short lived and so I wouldn't let myself let up at all.  After a while I lapped one of my girlfriends.  Then I lapped another one.  I fell down once but got up quick.  I adjusted the girls a few times.  I reminded myself in true Dori style "Just keep skiing.  Just keep skiing."  Everybody was cheering for me.  I hammed it up and smiled big.  A professional photographer moved around the track and shot a gazillion photos of me.  I almost bust out laughing at the irony of the situation.  I decided this was probably a good lesson for me on humility.  I was however, REALLY EXCITED about my temporary lead.  I'd NEVER been ahead in any kind of race I'd ever been in EVER.  Here I was, in the lead, people cheering for me and everything.  This was a BIG DEAL!!  Me - a frumpy feeling, greying, 40ish housewife with kids - suddenly becoming an all star elite athlete (in my head). 
   Amazingly, I was able to keep my lead despite the girls rebelling against the ill fitting brazier and other random wardrobe malfunctions.  Sweat busted out in every direction, but I was having the time of my life.  I decided I was going to try and lap my last opponent but he was hell on wheels.  He was a lot taller and a seasoned cross country ski racer.  Around and around I went.  It took me 9 1/2 times around, but I finally did it.  I'd lapped them all.  At round 12 I skied in, exhausted and elated.  I'd won the first ever "Yaak-A-Loppet".  I would forever be in history as having won something, finally, after all these 40 some years.  Me - winner of Yaak's first cross country ski race ever.  It was pretty great.

My husband was so proud, later on that night he took me out for Valentines Day Dinner and Dancing.  Here we are post hygiene measures ;-)